She's Just Like You
by Miss Misled-Bloodshed
Summary: Christina, Eddie's bitch of an ex returns, with a surprise. ONE SHOT. Rated T for very bad language, because my K rated streak had to end some time.


**Hiya! It's Missy, and I'm back with another request! **

**This is for TheFabulousHeather, and its kind of a what-if/3-years-later idea. She asked for this a LOOOOOOOONG time ago, and Heather, I am so sorry for the wait. I'm going to just get my goofy butt on this bed covered in pillows and wires of headphones and write the shit out of it.**

**Missyclaimer: If you recognize any character appearing here, I don't own them.**

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"Chucky! Get your ass in here _now!_"

Eddie Caputo held an empty packet of ramen down-side up, shaking it a couple of times. A few crumbs of the heaven-sent food floated to the floor pathetically, dotting the lino. Tiffany wouldn't be happy, but what was a guy gonna do? He didn't want to lick it off the floor, but he thought it'd be a waste- y'know what? I'm gonna shut up now.

Eddie heard a sigh and the tap of Good Guy sneakers along the hallway floor, getting gradually closer until he felt the two foot high presence of the murderous doll beside him. "Whaaaaat?" The grouchy doll groaned.

Eddie held up the packet. Chucky stared at it for a moment, scratching the back of his neck. "I didn't get to eat any of this!" Said Eddie. Chucky shrugged. "You kept eating it when _I _bought it, it's just payback, man."

"Ugh, great. No coffee, no ramen and no game. Worst Sunday ever." Moaned Eddie. He ruffled his curly hair and collapsed in one of the dining chairs. Chucky smirked. "Don't be such a whiny pussy. I'll get more, and then maybe _both _of us will get some."

"I wouldn't count on it." Said Eddie.

"I would. Now shut up, I've still got a headache from Glen screaming when Glenda told him that fuckin' scary story at 4am." Chucky rubbed his forehead and took a chair from the table, bringing it over to the cupboard and climbing up onto it. Eddie grinned. "I'm not gonna deny, she's your kid, Chuck. She might even become an insomniac by the time she turns 5."

Chucky grunted in response, but Eddie could sense he was smiling. Chucky stood on his tip toes and rifled through the cupboard, Eddie heard the clink of cooking materials and bottles inside. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"Huh? Who's that?" Eddie rotated himself to peer through the gap between the front room and the dining room, and saw a shadow on the other side of the glass paned door. Just a silhouette.

"I don't know, maybe if you get off your ass and open the door, you might find out." Growled Chucky. Eddie rolled his eyes. "That headache really fucked you up, huh?" He got up and left the kitchen, entered the hallway and moved toward the door. He saw the silhouette of whoever was on the other side, and somebody speaking harshly, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. Probably a Jehovah's witness or something. Eddie reached for the door handle and spoke in a bored tone.

"Look, man, we're an almost atheist family, we don't need any of your loaves of bread and fish shi-"

Eddie had opened the door fully now, and his eyes widened.

Christina was standing on the porch, in a gold shimmering top and leather pants, high heels, makeup, the whole deal. Eddie saw her car parked a little ways behind her, the red Ford Mustang carelessly parked in the middle of the road. Christina glared at Eddie, and it was only then that the curly-haired rogue saw the age lines around her face. God, how long had it been?

Eddie stared in disbelief. "C-Christina?" He stuttered.

"Eddie. It's been a while." Said Christina. Her voice was harsher than he remembered, it sounded strained. "Around two and a half years, actually."

"What are you doing here? What's wrong?" Eddie looked behind the slim woman, half expecting to see cops swarming the area, guns up and sirens flashing. He saw no such thing. Just Christina and her glittering older self.

"Nothing. At least, nothing inanimate."

"What do you mean? Have you called the cops?" Eddie bit his nails.

"Eddie, if I wanted to call the cops on your sorry ass I would've done it two and a half years ago. That's not why I'm here." Christina flipped a long lock of hair behind her shoulder. She opened her mouth, but was interrupted by a Chicago accent calling from the kitchen.

"Who is it, Ed? If it's a Jehovah's witness just tell 'em to fuck off!"

"It's not a JW, Chucky. It's nobody." Called Eddie. Christina raised her eyebrows but didn't comment.

"Bullshit, if it was nobody you wouldn't answer the goddamn doo-" Eddie heard the voice from nearer and Chucky stopped talking. He turned and saw the ripped-and-sewn doll standing in the doorway of the kitchen, his icy blue state on Christina. "You. What the _fuck _are you doing here?"

"Chucky-"

"You come to just rub it in? Right as he had just forgotten about you? You sick bitch! And that's coming from me!" Eddie cringed, but his heart plummeted when he heard a knife unsheathe itself from a holder. He turned quickly and held a hand out. "No, Chuck! No, I haven't heard what she wants yet." Chucky narrowed his eyes defiantly, but put the knife back half way. His plastic fingers still brushed the leather of the handle, just in case he needed it. Eddie exhaled and turned back to Christina.

"Eddie, I can't stay long. And I don't want to, either. So I'm going to just get to the point." Christina stepped to the side in her red heels and wobbled a bit. Eddie was confused, before he looked down and saw something shocking.

It was a small child. A young girl, no older than 2 or 3. Her curly brown hair and eyes were exactly that of Eddie's, both were dirty. She wore a bright pink tee, pink jeans and scuffed up white sneakers. Tears were running down her face and she was shivering. "I believe _this _is yours." Said Christina spitefully.

"What the-" Eddie rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. Nope, when he brought the fists down the little girl was still there. She looked up at him in fright. "Christina, who is she?"

"Edward, meet Mercede Algracia Chandler. Though I guess because she's your daughter, her name is Mercede Algracia Caputo."

"Wait, _what? _My daughter? What are you talking about?"

"Figure it out, Eddie. How could she possibly be your daughter? Oh yeah, I was _pregnant_ when I left. That's how. Now take her."

"What?"

"For fuck's sake, _take her! _I can't even stand to look at the little bitch, she's exactly like you!" Christina seized Mercede by her tiny wrist and thrust her forward into Eddie's leg. Eddie caught her just as she was about to fall and Mercede gave a little whimper.

"Christina, I can't take care of a kid! I have no experience!"

"That makes two of us. I was planning to move on, meet a nice guy with a bit of cash, live a normal life with some liberties! But noooo! I got lumbered for nine months with a baby I didn't want from a murderer, and when I did find out I was pregnant I was too far along to have an abortion!"

"Hey!" Chucky yelled. Eddie jumped, he'd actually forgotten Chucky was there. His face was pure rage, and Eddie bit his lip. Abortions were a sensitive topic for Chucky. And Tiffany too. "Who the fuck do you think you are? An abortion? Are you fucking with me? You bitch! You total bitch!"

Christina glared at Chucky, but turned her gaze back to Eddie. "I'm leaving now. I had to leave her somewhere she couldn't find her way back to my apartment. Put her up for adoption, leave her on the streets, I don't care. Just keep that thing the hell away from me."

And with that, Christina turned on her heel and walked away. Her heels clicked along the gravel, and before Eddie had actually realized what had happened Christina was already in the car and had started the engine. Without even a glance in the rear view mirror she had pulled out and was now on the the road.

Mercede gave a little whimper and called out in a slightly Spanish accent. "Mama! Mama!" She sniffed. "Mama, love you."

Chucky was determined to not let her get away. Eddie pulled Mercede out of the way as Chucky ran out the door and for the car, swinging his knife madly and swearing at the top of his voice.

"YOU'D BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK, YOU BITCH, 'CAUSE IF I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I'M GONNA TURN YOUR HEAD INTO A CONDOM SO WHENEVER I FUCK BITCHES THEY'LL RING LIKE A VEGAS SLOT MACHINE!"

There was a silence, a cough from Chucky, more silence and then:

"I hope you fucking crash!"

Eddie sighed and watched the lights of Christina's car disappear over the hill. He looked down at the small girl in his arms, whose eyes were slipping shut as she sniffled. "Mama...gone."

Eddie breathed and picked the young girl up. She buried her head in Eddie's shoulder and whimpered.

"Eddie? Honey, what's all the yelling?" Tiffany appeared from the back door, laden with both Glen and Glenda who were covered in dirt. The twins giggled and ran upstairs, trailing mud behind them. Tiffany didn't even scold them, her poisonous green eyes were fixed on Eddie and the child in his arms.

"Who's the kid?" She asked. Eddie sighed and lifted Mercede higher up on his chest. "Tiffany, it seems I am a parent."

"Oh... Oh Eddie, honey." She tilted her head and looked at him sympathetically. "Look, let me make us some coffee. You have a story to tell and I've been told I'm a good listener."

"Thanks, Tiff. D'you mind if I run Mercede a bath first? She's not the best looking right now."

"Of course not, I needed to give Glen and Glenda a bath too, they're filthy." Tiffany motioned for Eddie to follow her upstairs. "C'mon sweetface, we can make it through this."

Eddie followed Tiffany to the upstairs bathroom, Chucky kicked stones outside and cursed as he walked back inside and Mercede held onto Eddie's shirt like she would never let go.

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**Hope you enjoyed! I should be doing art homework, but alas, I am not.**

**The first instalment in a series of Eddie and his daughter oneshots for TheFabulousHeather. She's given me a lot of material so until I've got it all done I won't be taking requests. I'll let you know when I can take them again! :D**

**Anyway, review, favourite, ignore, whatever you wanna do! I'll hopefully see you next time! **

**Keep it creepy!**


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